


longevity

by lowkeyamen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Relationship Negotiation, Relationship Problems, communication problems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowkeyamen/pseuds/lowkeyamen
Summary: Taeil loves his boyfriends more than anything, but he's worried a polyamorous relationship may have a shorter expiry date.





	1. perfection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baexil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baexil/gifts).



> Hello!! I really hope you like where I've taken this prompt bc I really enjoyed writing it ❤︎ There are more chapters to come so don't worry, there is more on the way and hopefully it'll be exactly what you asked for!!

"Holy fuck!" Taeil gasped out as he sunk into their mattress. 

His entire body felt like it was on fire, muscles twitching as climax rippled through his body, beads of sweat trailing down his back, eyes fluttering shut as soft kisses were scattered across his shoulder blades, across his forehead. 

He whined softly as Sicheng pulled out of him, arms wrapping around his waist as the as younger nuzzled into the back of his neck. He hummed to himself as Taeyong giggled beside him, as a damp cloth the redhead always had prepared in advance swept across his stomach, clearing up the mess the two of them had just made. 

There was nothing he loved more than this. Than being sandwiched between the two of them as they pushed him well past his limits. One of his boyfriends fucking into him from behind, soft grunts of his name as they pounded into him, hitting that sweet spot that made his head spin over and over. The other working his cock, hushed encouragements of _'you're doing so well'_ and _'you always look so beautiful like this'_ spurring him on as he edged closer and closer to spilling all over their hand. 

There was nothing he loved more than the cuddles and kisses and affection he was showered with afterwards. The way they looked after him, cleaning him up and ensuring he knew just how loved he was as his he came floating back down to reality. 

There was nothing he loved more than curling up between the two of them; the two people he cared about more than anything, the two people he would do absolutely anything for because they meant absolutely everything to them and he wouldn't trade what they had for the world. 

Despite the hardships they may face being a polyamorous triad. 

Taeil knew that what they had wasn't normal, not by most people's standards, anyway. You were only meant to have one lover, one person you devoted your entire being to. One person that you pledged yourself to. You weren't even meant to so much as look at anyone but your significant other, because that's how monogamy worked, and anything outside of that rigid ideal was seen as sordid or dirty. 

But what they had wasn't sordid or dirty. 

It was beautiful. 

He had twice as much of that in his life. Twice as much support and protection and undying love from these two boys he honestly couldn't live without. 

This was never planned. He never expected to end up with more than one boyfriend, but here he was, wrapped in the warmth of the two most perfect creatures he had ever laid eyes on. 

It was meant to just be him and Taeyong. Forever. They were high school sweethearts. Had been through the trauma of going to different universities and having to travel hours to even see one other. They had made it through the arguments and jealously and insecurities of living so far away from the person you loved. Of not being able to be with them at all times. It was a struggle, but they had made it. They had graduated and moved to a whole new city to make a fresh start. To make a life together. 

And it was going perfectly. 

They could just about manage to rent out a little flat on the outskirts of Seoul. It wasn't perfect, by any means. The electricity had a tendency to cut out and he was pretty sure the washing machine was on the blink, but it was theirs. Their first home together. 

Taeil had landed a place at a top accounting firm. He wasn't making the money he wanted to just yet, but everyone had to start somewhere, right? And Taeyong was doing admin work for a local estate agents while he built up his portfolio, hoping to one day realise his dream of being a graphic designer.

They may not be loaded, hell, some months they struggled to scrape enough together to buy food at the end of the month, having to resort to dining on instant noodles for a week straight. But they had each other and they were happy.

Really happy. 

Then along came Sicheng. 

This effervescent kid from China that had left everything behind to follow his dream in Korea. 

It didn't quite work out for him, though. He found that dance companies in Korea were notoriously hard to even get auditions for. They were cutthroat, and Sicheng just wasn't what they were looking for. 

It wasn't like he wanted to be an idol or anything; he just wanted to escape his old life and dance. He'd settle for being a backing dancer, a choreographer, anything that kept his passion alive. 

But that was easier said than done. 

Which was how he ended up mixing cocktails in Taeil and Taeyong's favourite bar in the city.  

And he caught their eye immediately. 

It was kind of hard not to be absolutely captivated by Sicheng. He was tall, slim and his skin practically glowed. He had this air about him, a sort of grace Taeil had never seen before, especially not in a bartender. Sicheng practically glided, as opposed to walked. Everything he did seemed so perfectly effortless Taeil couldn't help but be in awe of him every time the younger mixed him a pornstar martini with a twinkle in his eye because the name always made him laugh. 

And Taeyong noticed. 

He noticed the way Taeil's eyes lingered on Sicheng's fingers as he sprinkled popping candy on a cloud of whipped cream. He noticed the way the corners of Taeil's lips would quirk up in affection, just ever so slightly, whenever Sicheng would mispronounce something. He noticed the way Taeil was completely unable _not_ to return one of Sicheng's award winning smiles, no matter how shit his mood had been before they entered the bar. 

And he actually found it kind of adorable. 

"It's been a year since Sicheng moved here; maybe he should do something nice for him."

Taeyong's lips curled into a smirk. Taeil was so transparent sometimes. 

"You think?"

"Well, yeah. It must be hard completely uprooting your life and moving to a new country where you barely even speak the language. And he's had such a shitty time finding a dance job I just think it'd be nice."

Taeyong hummed. 

The three of them had become pretty good friends. It started with the couple going out more often, turning up at the bar on a weekday after work just for a couple of drinks to relax, bailing on plans to go to clubs with friends in favour of sitting around and chatting to Sicheng as he worked. 

He loved the relationship the three of them had developed, it was rare for a couple to share a best friend, but that's kind of how Taeyong saw Sicheng. They both spent more time with the younger than they did people they had known for years. 

"It would be pretty nice, I guess. You should probably ask him what he wants to do, though. Wine tasting and cheese boards are more up your street than his."

And that was how they ended up in some seedy gay club on the opposite side of the city choking back drinks mixed with something that tasted more like paint stripper than vodka. 

But Sicheng was in his element. 

Taeil and Taeyong found it hard to take their eyes off of him. The way he twirled between the sea of people to get to the dance floor, checking over his shoulder to make sure the two of them were following him. The way he moved perfectly in time with the music, luring guys he had never even met over to him with just a sway of his hips. The way he danced without a care, arms in the air as if no one was watching, but ensuring all eyes were on him at the same time. 

He was absolutely insatiable. 

"Stop being so boring, come dance!"

The two of them were pulled closer by their wrists; Taeyong giggling as he almost instantly got into it, as the dancer inside of him that had been repressed in favour of estate agency came out, losing himself in the bright lights and pounding music. 

But Taeil wasn't really a dancer. He had two left feet and hated the idea of people looking at him. 

But Sicheng wasn't having it. 

"Come on!" He pulled Taeil in close, hands on the elder's waist as he forced him to sway along to the beat. Taeil was so fucking rigid; Sicheng wished he would just loosen up like Taeyong had. "Let go."

That only made Taeil stiffen up even more. Sicheng's breath was hot against his ear, even in the humid heat of this club. The way his lips brushed up against Taeil's skin as he spoke made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He was far too close for comfort and Taeil wasn't really sure what to do. He only ever got this close to Taeyong. His boyfriend. 

"Come on, baby, I know you can move better than that."

Taeyong. 

Taeil let his head lull back against the younger's shoulder as the alcohol began to take effect, as arms wrapped around his chest from behind, as his boyfriend pressed up against his back. 

This was perfect.

Taeyong's lips were on his before he knew it, hips pressed forwards into his ass as hands travelled lower, so they were directly on top of Sicheng's, both of their grips tightening on Taeil's waist. He really fucking hoped this wouldn't give him a hard on, he couldn't think of anything more embarrassing considering Sicheng was pressed up against his front, giggling drunkenly to himself as he watched the two of them kiss. 

Taeil wasn't all there when Taeyong pulled back, head a little fuzzy from the drink, the stuffy air of the club and the kiss. Not to mention the fact he was sandwiched between the two most stunning boys he had ever laid eyes on. 

Which his why he didn't quite register Sicheng's fingertips ghosting over his cheek, but he couldn't help but follow the touch, a bright grin and strawberry blonde hair coming into view under heavily lidded eyes as he tilted his head. A bright grin that seemed to be leaning in, a lips getting ever close to his until-

What the fuck? Was- was Sicheng kissing him?

Was Sicheng  _kissing_ him in front of his  _boyfriend?_

Taeil's eyes automatically fluttered shut, because that's what he had been conditioned to do when he was being kissed. Kissing with your eyes open was fucking weird. But then again, this entire situation was fucking weird. He couldn't help but kiss Sicheng back as fingers danced over his skin, as Taeyong pressed up closer against him. Why wasn't his boyfriend freaking out? Why the fuck was he kissing someone else while his boyfriend grinded up against him instead of kicking off and putting a stop to this? 

Taeil was confused. Really confused. 

Confused as to why Sicheng would even dream of kissing him, knowing he was taken. 

Confused as to why Taeyong didn't seem to mind that he was kissing their best friend. 

Confused as to why he didn't seem to mind kissing their best friend. 

Confused as to why there were also lips trailing wet kissed down his neck and-

_Oh my god._

"Yonggie?" He just about managed to gasp out as he and Sicheng parted for air, just for a second before the younger's lips were back on his. 

"I'm here, sweetie." Taeyong's arms wrapped tighter around his waist, pulling him in even closer. "You two look so good."

That sent chills down Taeil's spine. Taeyong...liked watching the two of them? Well, if the open mouthed kisses and hums of appreciation coming from the redhead were anything to go by, Taeil would hazard a guess at; yes, Taeyong was clearly very into watching his best friend kiss his boyfriend. 

And then it all seemed to stop. And Taeil's head was left spinning 

Had that really just happened? In public? People were probably looking at them oh my god. This wasn't normal. He wasn't meant to kiss anyone but Taeyong. Taeyong was the love of his life. Taeyong was his everything. Taeyong was-

Taeyong was kissing Sicheng. 

In his daze he hadn't even realised the two of them were making out over his shoulder, while he was still wedged in between them. 

He knew the normal reaction to something like this should be jealousy, anger, even. But Taeil... Taeil was just really turned on. 

He could see where Taeyong was coming from before; because holy fuck did the two of them look good together. He couldn't tear his eyes away, and he knew he probably looked absolutely ridiculous, frozen in the middle of the dance floor, gormlessly staring at these two boys kissing. 

"Do you wanna come back to ours?"

Taeil was in such a trance he didn't even realise the two of them had pulled apart until Taeyong spoke up. 

Wait- What?

"Sure."

And that's how he found himself bundled into the back of a taxi with Sicheng's tongue down his throat and Taeyong's fingers carding through his hair as he directed the driver where to go. 

None of this felt real. He couldn't really understand why either he or Taeyong were okay with this. Why Sicheng was okay with this. Wouldn't this make things incredibly awkward after? He was their best friend. You can't just sleep with your best friend and act like nothing happened the next day. 

But all of that anxiety faded away as Sicheng's hands delved into his pants. He had always known Sicheng wasn't exactly shy when it came to sex, if the stories the younger told him were anything to go by, but he still he hadn't expected him to be quite so forward. 

Not that he was complaining. 

The rest of that night was a blur. A flurry of limbs, love bites and the incomparable high of three people climaxing at the same time. 

And then...it just kept happening. 

Sicheng began spending more time at their place, sometimes the three of them would just hang out, watch a movie and order in, other times they'd have mind blowing sex on just about every surface in the house 

Either way Taeil really liked it, he just wasn't sure what to call it; this...thing that they had fallen into. It was something they had never actually spoken about, the three of them too afraid to approach the subject, but it was obvious that this was more than just raw passion. More than just a way to enhance their sex lives. 

"Would you guys find it weird if I called you my boyfriends?" Sicheng actually sounded a little nervous for once, picking at the crispy skin of his chicken. 

Taeil and Taeyong exchanged a look. Boyfriends? Was that how Sicheng saw them? 

"Wh- Why?"

"Because I kinda might have..." Sicheng just about dared to look up at the pair of them, glad their faces were awash with confusion, not disgust. Not yet, anyway. 

He sighed. 

"This guy at work tried to ask me out, and he's pretty cute but...I told him I wasn't single and then I was kinda like _'wait why did you do that, yeah you are'_ , but I just automatically thought of you two and then he was like _'oh, you have a boyfriend?'_ and then out of nowhere I replied _'two'_ and- yeah..."

Sicheng's gaze slipped back down to his fingers, nervously fiddling with them as he rambled on. He honestly wasn't even sure why he told them they. Maybe he should have kept it to himself. 

"So... You don't want to date anyone else because you feel like you're dating us?"

Sicheng cocked his head, wondering if that really was how he felt. Dating wasn't exactly something he did on a regular basis anyway - sleeping around; yes. But dating? Not a chance. 

But...he wasn't even doing that anymore. It felt kind of weird sleeping with anyone other than Taeil and Taeyong and he couldn't really understand why, which is why he brought the topic up. Did he automatically refer to the two of them as his boyfriends because that's what he wanted them to be? Or was it just an excuse he used to avoid ending up in some random guys bed the next morning because he wasn't really into that anymore? 

He honestly didn't know. 

"I just...I dunno, is that weird? Because obviously you guys have been together forever and, like, I don't wanna ruin that, but-"

"You're not." Taeil had been unnaturally quiet throughout this whole exchange, not really sure how to respond because he totally understood where Sicheng was coming from, it just wasn't something he had ever discussed with Taeyong. His boyfriend. He didn't know where the younger stood on the situation and- Well, he definitely didn't want to ruin that. 

But he didn't want Sicheng to think he was an inconvenience. 

He would never want Sicheng to think that. 

"Right?" Taeil turned to the blonde, hoping he hadn't said the wrong thing. 

But Taeyong just nodded. 

"You've been our best friend for ages and I guess; well, now you're more than that. Right?"

Taeyong clearly felt the same way. The two of them really should have talked this through before Sicheng even brought it up, but it was an awkward conversation to have and that had never been something either of them had been good at. Even after six years together, they still weren't great at the whole communication thing. 

"Right."

"So..." Sicheng was honestly expecting the two of them to kick him out or something. He was basically barging his way into their relationship. "What now? You two should probably talk about this in private. I don't want you feeling pressured into anything because I'm here, like- I like you guys a lot and if you just wanna stay friends or...whatever, I-I get it and-"

Taeyong laughed softly. He had never seen Sicheng even vaguely flustered before. He knew what he wanted. He may not have fully thought about it before now because, well, it seemed wrong. But he knew. 

Sicheng was right, though; he and Taeil should really talk properly before making a proper decision. This affected all three of them in so many ways. 

"We'll talk." Taeyong laced his fingers with Taeil's under the table, heart skipping a beat as the elder squeezed back. "I've- We've never been in a situation like this before, but we could never cut you out of our lives. Right?"

Taeil nodded, words were kind of failing him now. 

This was crazy. 

Of course he liked Sicheng, way more than just a friend but...he  _loved_  Taeyong. How the fuck did something like this even work? Could they really put their entire relationship on the line on a whim? For something that probably wouldn't even work out because how could three people possibly be together beyond pure lust? That wasn't how it was meant to be. He was meant to have one boyfriend that he would eventually get married to and love forever and maybe adopt a couple of kids with, but-

Okay, so he was getting ahead of himself, here. They were still only young. But it was something he had to consider, right?

Seriously. How could something like this work? 

"I guess we won't know until we try it." Taeyong shrugged, loading another set of plates into the dishwasher. Somehow, whenever Sicheng was around he managed to go through every piece of dishware they owned. 

Taeil didn't know how Taeyong could be so blasé about this. 

"Won't people think it's weird, though?"

"You need to stop living your life based on other people's opinions, Tae."

Taeil rolled his eyes. As if it was that easy. He hadn't even told his parents he and Taeyong were together. They'd probably never speak to him again if they found out he was in a long term relationship with his 'roommate'. 

"People aren't meant to have two boyfriends."

"Most people think you're not even meant to have one." 

Taeil twisted his nose. That was true, but... that was different. Very different. Their friends accepted them, and that mattered a whole fucking lot to him. He could hold hands with Taeyong and kiss him in public and deal with the sideways glances and hushed murmurs, but it would be so much more than that if there were three of them. They wouldn't be able to be as open with their relationship and he really wasn't sure he could handle it. 

"You're overthinking again."

Taeyong's hands were on his face, thumbs rubbing gentle circles into his cheekbones. Something the younger always did to bring him back down to reality. 

But seriously, how could he not overthink something like this? 

This wasn't one of those situations where Taeyong was trying to hurry him out of the supermarket because he was spending too long choosing what flavour tea he wanted. He wasn't spending hours getting ready because he couldn't decide which pale blue shirt suited his skin tone better. 

This would affect his entire life. His friendship with Sicheng. His relationship with Taeyong. 

And that terrified him. 

"What if...what if this all goes horribly wrong and we break up over it? I don't want to lose you."

Taeil's eyes were glazed as he dared to meet Taeyong's. That was his biggest fear. That something would happen and it would drive the two of them apart. What they had was perfect. He could easily see himself spending the rest of his life with Taeyong and what if- What if this broke them? It was a lot of pressure to put on their relationship. 

"You won't, okay?" Taeyong knew exactly where Taeil was coming from. But this was Sicheng they were talking about. Their best friend. The guy he knew fine well they both had deeper feelings for. It wasn't like they were asking some random guy to join their relationship. He really felt like this could work out. "No matter what, you'll never lose me."

Taeil swallowed. He wanted to believe that. He really did. But there was no way it could be that easy. 

"I know you want to be with him too."

Taeil made this sort of...aggravated whine that meant Taeyong was right he just didn't want to admit it. Adorable. 

"So?"

Taeil sighed. 

Maybe he should stop being so uptight for once. Maybe he should follow his heart instead of his head. Maybe he should just throw caution to the wind for a change and do something that would make him truly happy instead of overthinking every little thing and take a chance on something crazy but...beautiful. 

Maybe...

Maybe he could have twice as much love and affection in his life. 

"So...we should probably invite him over, right?"

Taeyong squeaked, pulling Taeil in for a kiss. This was really happening. They were actually fucking doing this. All three of them. They were going to be together and have the most amazing one of a kind relationship and Sicheng would be theirs and-

"I love you." Taeyong breathed as he pulled back, lips quirking into a soft smile at how flushed Taeil's cheeks were. Even after all these years he still had the ability to make his boyfriend blush. "So much."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


	2. surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the second chapter!! things are gonna get a little more angsty and complicated so i really hope this is what u were looking for with your prompt!!

"Here, put this on." 

Sicheng groaned as Taeyong passed him a shirt. He hated  _dressing up_. He hated all the buttons and the fact the pants were never tight enough and that he couldn't wear converse and that he knew fine well he looked  _so_  much cuter in an oversized sweater. 

But, apparently it was necessary tonight. 

"Why do I even need to dress like a waiter?" Sicheng rolled his eyes as Taeyong fussed over his top button. He couldn't even have that undone? Seriously? He felt like he was going to choke. 

Taeyong shrugged. 

"Mark and Hyuck are having a get together and wanted us to dress up. Apparently they have a surprise."

Sicheng tried his hardest not to roll his eyes again. It's not that he didn't like Donghyuck it's just- Well, he was really fucking loud and Sicheng would much rather lie around at home with his boyfriends than listen to Donghyuck's screeching. 

"Are you two ready?"

Sicheng's eyes lit up as Taeil entered their bedroom. Crisp white shirt tucked into high waisted black jeans, jacket slung over his shoulder, hair pushed back off of his face. 

Taeil was one of the few people Sicheng preferred all dressed up. He looked  _so_  fucking good. 

"Ready, Daddy." Sicheng purred, arms wrapping around the back of Taeil's neck to bring the elder into a kiss.

"Stop calling me that." Taeil whined, a complete juxtaposition to how he was currently dressed, but it made Sicheng smile. He was so cute. 

"It's not my fault you look like you're going to bend me over a table and fuck me like the dirty little whore I am." Sicheng giggled as Taeil flushed. Seriously. Where did he get off being so fucking adorable?

Sicheng leaned in closer, lips grazing against the shell of Taeil's ear as he spoke. 

"Even though we both know you'd prefer it the other way round."

Taeil squeaked as Sicheng latched onto his earlobe, pulling away from the younger with a start, which only made him laugh harder. Sicheng seriously got off on teasing him. And it didn't exactly take much for Taeil to turn a less than attractive shade of beetroot. 

"Okay, you two, break it up. Taxis outside." Taeyong usually tried to play the attentive mother role, tried to stop Sicheng teasing Taeil so mercilessly the elder nearly died of embarrassment, but he had to admit, Taeil was pretty cute when he was flustered. 

The ride to Mark and Donghyuck's place as longer than any of them could really be bothered with, but the couple were some of their best friends, and it sounded like they had something really important to tell them. 

"What do you think their surprise is?"

"Maybe they're moving away."

Sicheng hissed as Taeyong slapped his arm. 

"What? I didn't say I  _hope_  they're moving away. Just maybe."

"Maybe Mark is finally coming out as straight." Taeil scoffed, making Sicheng laugh and Taeyong roll his eyes. He could swear Sicheng was a bad influence on the elder. 

"Maybe he got someone knocked up."

"And Hyuck is gonna pretend to be pregnant for nine months and pass it off as his like on Desperate Housewives."

"Oh my god! Yes!"

Taeyong sighed. How the fuck did he end up with these two? 

"I can't believe I actually have to say this, considering we're all adults, but will you both promise me you'll be on your best behaviour?"

Sicheng gasped as Taeyong shot him a look. He was always the instigator. 

"They all still think I'm a sweet little kitten I'm not going to shatter that illusion." Sicheng smiled to himself. Despite being at least three years older, Donghyuck's friends had a tendency to baby him, and Sicheng absolutely revelled in it. 

"Anyway, you're the one that had one too many tequila's last time we were at theirs and ended up in ER after you tried to death drop from the kitchen bench. We were the sensible ones."

Sicheng cackled at the memory as Taeil spoke. Tequila-Taeyong was his favourite. 

"Shut up." Taeyong hissed with a pout. That wasn't even funny; he got a concussion from that night he literally could have  _died._ "If you see anyone offer me a shot be good boyfriends and do it for me."

"We'd rather watch you suffer." Sicheng muttered with a butter-wouldn't melt-smile on his lips as the taxi finally pulled up at Mark and Donghyuck's place. There was no booming music, no gathering of people smoking outside of the front door, and Sicheng was pretty sure he could see an afternoon tea style cake stand through the window. This was going to be fucking boring, he could just sense it.  

"I wonder why they're making such a big deal of this." Taeil mused as they walked up the path. There seemed to be a fair few people here already, Mark and Donghyuck didn't really do big parties very often, unless it was one of their birthdays. But it was September. Those were both way off. 

"Maybe they just want to be sociable." Taeyong rolled his eyes as he pressed the doorbell. Why were his boyfriends so goddamn suspicious?

"Oh my god, hi!" Sicheng flinched was the door opened and Donghyuck all but squawked at them. Here we go. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

"What's this surprise, then?" Taeyong asked with a soft laugh as Donghyuck's arms wrapped around his waist, reciprocating the hug. 

"You'll find out later. Help yourself to drinks and food for now, but don't you  _dare_ get drunk. If you ruin this for me I swear to g-"

"He already has us on shot duty, don't worry. He's not getting a single drop of tequila tonight." Taeil smiled, giving Donghyuck a hug of his own, knowing that was exactly what the younger was waiting for. 

"Okay, good. Because I want tonight to be memorable. And not because we had to phone you an ambulance." Donghyuck smirked, sending Taeyong a pointed look as he wrapped a reluctant Sicheng up in his arms. 

"I wish he'd just tell us what it is already, I hate surprises." Sicheng huffed as Donghyuck flounced off to socialise with some of his other guests. He couldn't be bothered with the suspense of the waiting around. He'd rather just know and then he'd be able to get on with enjoying himself. 

"Stop being such a moody baby." Taeyong reached up on his toes slightly to press a kiss to the taller boy's cheek. "Let's go get some food."

Sicheng let Taeyong drag him off to the kitchen, fingers looping around Taeil's wrist, urging the elder to come along with them. 

Honestly, they were lucky to have the friends they did. Really lucky. 

In the beginning it was hard for some of them to understand, the whole second boyfriend thing, and not all of them accepted Sicheng. They found it kind of...disgusting, almost. 

But the majority of their friends welcomed the change. They may have been confused at first, but they looked past that, because it was obvious how happy Taeil and Taeyong were now Sicheng was in their lives. It may not be conventional, but what did that matter? 

Over time the three of them learnt to cut toxic people out of their lives, to surround themselves with friends who loved and supported them. They may have sacrificed their friendships with a few closed minded people they had once been close with, but it resulted in them being able to act like anyone else in a relationship could. They could hold hands and kiss and cuddle in front of their friends, all three of them. They didn't have to feel uncomfortable because they knew they weren't making other people uncomfortable. 

They really were lucky that everyone didn't disapprove of their relationship, that they didn't shun Sicheng when the two of them began to introduce him to people. 

And Mark and Donghyuck were at the forefront of that. Sure, it had been a shock that their seemingly uptight friend Taeil and the love of his life Taeyong had gotten  _another_  boyfriend. Neither of them had really heard of anything like that before. Maybe on TV, but never in real life. But it was obvious how much the two of them liked Sicheng, loved him even. From the very start they could see the twinkle in both of their friend's eyes whenever they talked about the Chinese boy. This wasn't just a sex thing anymore. It may have started that way, but this clearly went way deeper. And while it was something Mark and Donghyuck would never choose for themselves, they found it kind of beautiful that Taeil and Taeyong had enough room in their hearts to let someone else in.

"These macarons are  _so_ good." Sicheng mumbled through a mouthful of biscuit. Donghyuck knew how to put on a spread. He'd give the younger that. 

"I wouldn't know," Taeyong started as Sicheng stuffed the last one in his mouth, "I never got to try one-"

He was interrupted by a spoon clinking against glass, a signal for everyone to be quiet. 

"Hey, everyone! Thanks for coming; it means a lot to us that you're here to share this moment." Mark was stood in the middle of their living room, a glass of champagne in his hand. He was smiling wider than Taeyong had even seen, and the two of them had been friends since they were kids. What was going on here?

"We just got back from Italy and, well, something happened there. It was kind of spur of the moment and I wasn't fully prepared and we wanted to make it official with all our friends and family and-"

"Just get on with it." Donghyuck nudged his boyfriend with a giggle. He knew mark had the tendency to ramble when he was nervous. 

Taeyong's heart skipped a beat, fingers intertwining with Taeil and Sicheng's, one each side of him. Was Mark going to-?

"Okay, uh-" Mark fumbled around in his pocket, pulling out a tiny box before taking Donghyuck's hands in his own. "Donghyuck, I know I've already done the big, soppy speech about how much I love you but I didn't have a ring, and-"

The elder dropped to one knee, breath around the room hitching as he cracked the box open. 

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will!"

Taeyong squeezed his boyfriend's hands. Was this really happening? Mark and Donghyuck were getting married? Would it be too far for him to say this was the best day of his life? He wasn't even the one getting married but- Mark was his  _baby_. 

"Oh my god!" Taeyong let go of his boyfriend's hands, running over to the newly engaged couple as Mark slid the ring on Donghyuck's finger. "I'm so happy for you!"

He pulled the two of them close to his chest, not wanting to let go. This was, like, fucking magical. He  _loved_  Mark and Donghyuck together and he was so proud of the two of them before making a life together and they were so damn happy and oh god-

"Hyung, are you crying?"

"No!" Taeyong sniffled, trying to wipe his eyes on Mark's shoulder. "Of course not!"

Donghyuck laughed as more of their friends came over to congratulate them. He had already said yes when Mark popped the question out of nowhere while they were on holiday. Apparently the way the moonlight caught Donghyuck's eyes as they shared a late night gelato outside some little cafe was when Mark just knew that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. He didn't have a ring or anything but he just...couldn't resist asking. 

It was romantic, if not a little mushy, but Donghyuck absolutely loved it. But he had always wanted a big engagement, for everyone he loved to be part of it, which was why they had kept things on the down low until they could get everyone together. 

Even Sicheng was cuddling into him, rocking him back and forth with excitement. 

This was perfect. 

For everyone but Taeil, that is. 

For him, everything just seemed to...stop. He couldn't hear anything above the dull ringing in his ears. Couldn't really grasp what was going on around him, because he had completely checked out. 

Mark and...Mark and Donghyuck were getting married?  _Married?_  But they were so young. They'd only been together a year unlike-

Unlike he and Taeyong. Or he and Sicheng for that matter. The three of them were in their mid-twenties. He'd been with Taeyong forever. Taeil was an entire six years older than Donghyuck yet he was the one getting married. 

Because...they'd never be able to get married. Not the three of them. 

That was the ultimate symbol of commitment. The ultimate sign that you loved someone more than anything in the world that you shared with all of the other people you loved. 

But they'd never have that. Because he didn't just love someone, he loved two someone's. And according to the world that wasn't right. 

He could never profess to the world how much he loved Taeyong and Sicheng. They'd never be bound together in matrimony til death do they part. 

They-

They'd never have that. 

He couldn't do this. 

"Tae?"

He had to get out of here. 

"Taeil?"

He ran for the door, ignoring Sicheng calling his name. He couldn't cope with this right now. The last thing he wanted was to talk to his boyfriends because- well, he was pretty sure he'd just break down because honestly what was the point? If they couldn't get married then what was the fucking point? 

That was the end game. That was  _always_  the end game when it came to relationships, right? That and kids-  _oh god,_  he hadn't even thought about kids. They'd never even be able to adopt. They...No one in their right mind would let three gay guys, who were all in this fucking weird relationship adopt a kid. 

He...he could never have kids. He was never going to be a father all because he had fallen for two people. 

Taeil leaned against the painted brick of Mark and Donghyuck's house, tears blurring his vision. He absolutely hated this. Just what had he gotten himself into? 

He was in a position where he could never get married or have kids all because he was in this stupid polyamorous relationship. What did that even mean? Was this really sustainable? Just how long could the three of them go on like this? Their relationship had peaked. There was no way up from here. 

This was it. For the rest of his life. 

He'd always just be a boyfriend. Never a fiancé or a husband. Just a boyfriend. You could have the title of boyfriend after only just meeting someone a couple of days ago. It didn't really  _mean_ anything. It was just a word that didn't really hold any real gravity. 

Not like husband did. 

His thumb subconsciously rubbed against his left ring finger. The one that would always be bare. 

How had he never thought about this before? Not properly, anyway. He had always pushed it to the back of his mind because he  _loved_  Taeyong and Sicheng, so fucking much, and the last thing he wanted was to ruin what they had. But now...now Mark and Donghyuck were getting married, and his sister- 

Oh for fucks sake, he forgotten about his sister's wedding and the RSVP he'd never even replied to because it was addressed to Moon Taeil plus one because his parents had no idea he was even in a relationship, never mind in a relationship with two different guys and how was he meant to pick? He couldn't turn up with the two of them; his family would go off it. 

But he was  _so_  sick of hiding. Sure, he had always hidden his and Taeyong's relationship because back then his parents never would have approved,  it now he felt like they were in a place where he could finally tell them that he was in a relationship with another guy and they wouldn't absolutely hate him for it. They probably wouldn't fully understand, but he was sure they'd accept him. 

Only now he'd gone and fucked that up. There wasn't only Taeyong anymore. There was Sicheng too. How the fuck would he ever explain that? 

So, not only would he never get married or have kids., but he couldn't even tell his family that he was head over heels in love because he'd gotten himself into this impossible situation that they would never understand. 

This was too fucking much. 

He just wanted to go home. 

He wanted to lie down and cry himself to sleep because everything was completely fucked and his life had essentially plateaued. 

Maybe inviting Sicheng into their lives wasn't such a good idea, after all. 

"Taeil?" 

Taeil rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he heard Sicheng around the corner. He couldn't let his boyfriend know what was going on in his head. That he was having doubts about their relationship. 

"Oh, there you are. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just- I needed some air."

"Ah, okay, well- Have you been crying?" Taeil avoided Sicheng's gaze as the younger fingers ghosted over his damp cheeks. He didn't want to see the concern in his eyes because despite knowing it wasn't fair, part of him blamed Sicheng for all of this. 

"Y-Yeah, I'm just, happy, you know?"

"You're so cute."

Taeil squeezed his eyes shut as Sicheng pulled him in close, stopping any more tears from falling. He willed all of those awful thoughts away as Sicheng held him, because this  _wasn't_ Sicheng's fault. It was society's, right? What they had was beautiful, and he couldn't let a stupid wedding get in the way of that. 

He loved Sicheng and he loved Taeyong. So fucking much. 

That was all that mattered, right?

"Let's go back inside, Donghyuck's brought out this huge cake and I want to get some before Yukhei eats it all."

Taeil smiled weakly as Sicheng drew back. 

He knew that was all that mattered, the fact they were in love. All three of them. 

But he couldn't stop thinking about the future. 

Whether they had a future. Realistically. 

"I'm not really that hungry. I think I'll just stay out here."

"No way! It's freezing." Sicheng took Taeil by the hand, insisting the elder come back inside. Taeil didn't want to follow, he wanted to be alone, but he did anyway. He couldn't quite think of an excuse to cover why he wanted to be alone. 

He tried to smile as Sicheng pressed a kiss to his forehead. As Taeyong waved at them from across the room. 

He was meant to be in love with these two boys. They were meant to be his everything. He always said that he'd love them forever and nothing would ever tear them apart. 

So why did he feel like he just wanted up and leave? 

 

 

⫸♡⫷

 

Taeil didn't say a whole lot throughout the rest of the party, or on the taxi ride home. Luckily for him, both of his boyfriends were a little on the tipsy side so they didn't really notice. He was in no way in the mood for a serious conversation tonight. 

As soon as they got in he went straight up to bed. But not  _their_  bed, the spare bed. He didn't really feel like sleeping in there tonight. He just wanted to be alone. 

He curled up; bed covers pulled up over his head as silent tears rolled down his cheeks. What was he going to do? He loved Taeyong and Sicheng, he really did. But what if their relationship fell completely stagnant with no kids or marriage on the horizon? 

This was it for them. There was nowhere else for them to go. Their relationship had hit its ultimate high already, so now the only way was down. 

Taeil sniffled softly. He hated this. He tried his hardest to ignore that nagging voice in the back of his head, but after the engagement party it got too loud to ignore. 

What were they thinking? He and Taeyong could be engaged, maybe even married by now if it wasn't for Sicheng. How did they honestly think this could work out in the long run? There was no longevity in a polyamorous relationship. There were so many things they couldn't do as a triad. 

Why didn't they just keep things the way they are? 

Why did they have to invite Sicheng into their relationship?

Taeil hadn't realised he'd been sobbing quietly until he heard a giggling outside of the bedroom door, followed by soft words of confusion as his boyfriends realised he wasn't in their bed. 

"Maybe he's still downstairs."

"I dunno, I'll check in here."

Taeil held his breath as the door cracked open. He really didn't want to see Taeyong right now, but he was glad it was him to choose to check the spare bedroom and not Sicheng. 

"Baby?"

Taeil tensed up as the mattress dipped beside him, as fingers carded through his hair. 

"What are you doing in here?"

"I just...don't feel well, that's all."

"You've been awfully quiet all night."

"I have a migraine."

"Poor baby." Taeil squeezed his eyes shut as Taeyong pressed a kiss to his forehead. All he wanted was to bury his face in the younger's chest and sob his heart out, but he couldn't very well do that without having to fess up to what was going through his head. And Taeyong would absolutely hate him for it. 

"He's not downstairs, but I did find these." Sicheng bound into the room with a giggle, black silk ties in his hand. He hadn't been tied up  _forever._ "You wanna gag me with them lat-" Sicheng paused as he saw Taeil's curled up form under the bed covers. What was going on?

"Tae, are you okay?" He rounded the bed, crawling next to Taeil so he could see the elders face. It looked red...kind of blotchy. Was he coming down with a fever?

"He's got a migraine." Taeyong stated as Sicheng pressed the back of his hand to the elders forehead, unable to miss the way Taeil physically shied away from the blondes touch. Weird. 

"Poor baby." Sicheng repeated Taeyong's words, shuffling a little closer to Taeil. He hated seeing his boyfriend suffer. "Do you want me to get you anything? Or stay in here with you tonight?"

Taeil shook his head, fighting back a fresh wave of tears because Sicheng was being so lovely to him and he didn't deserve it. Not after what he had just been thinking. 

"You two go have fun." He let his eyes fall shut, hoping they'd get the hint that he needed sleep and would go away. He couldn't share a bed with either of them right now. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Don't let me spoil your night; Sicheng wants you to tie him up."

Sicheng giggled as he leaned in to kiss Taeil, not thinking much of it when the elder didn't react, figuring it was just because he didn't feel well. He was clearly shattered, bless him. 

"I'll come check on you later." Another kiss. "Love you."

Those words made Taeil's gut twist, waiting until the door clicked shut behind the two of them before he let out a shaky sob. 

This was so fucked up. 

He had not only one, but two boyfriends that loved him more than anything and he was thinking about calling it off between them. He was regretting falling for Sicheng and for what? A wedding? Some overrated party that was only really an excuse to show off. Did he really need that? What they had was...well, perfect, right? 

They were in love, all three of them. That should be all that mattered. 

He was such a fucking asshole, how could he even think that Sicheng was a mistake? He made both he and Taeyong so,  _so_  happy. 

His head was such a mess; he didn't even know what he was thinking anymore. 

He buried his face in his pillow in an attempt to dry his eyes before sitting up to grab something from the bedside table. Something he'd been hiding in here from his boyfriends because they very rarely used their spare room. What was the point? 

_Moon Taeil plus one,_

_You are invited to the wedding of Moon Taeyoung and Jung Jaehyun_

_2pm Friday 28th of September 2018_

His eyes unfocused as he stared at the discarded invitation. He couldn't even bring himself to go to his own sister's wedding because he didn't know how to bring it up with his boyfriends. He couldn't only ask one of them, it wouldn't be fair. But at the same time he couldn't really take either of them...and that was already a sore spot with him and Taeyong. The fact he had never told his parents he was in a relationship with another man. It had been eight years, after all. 

Taeil knew it bothered the younger, being kept his dirty little secret for so long. He had met Taeil's family on a number of occasions, he actually got on really well with them, but was only ever introduced as a friend. Taeil knew it killed him, but he never pushed to be formally introduced, never wanted to make Taeil feel uncomfortable. 

But...now he'd never be able to tell them. How could he possibly? He couldn't tell them about Taeyong and not Sicheng, but there was no way in hell he could tell them about both of his boyfriends. He knew fine well his parents would never speak to him again. That they'd be disgusted at the very idea. 

He crumpled the invite up, throwing it across the room as sobs began to wrack through his body again. 

He couldn't do this. He couldn't keep living like this. He just wanted to be normal. He wanted a normal relationship where he could hold his boyfriends hand in public and go on dates and go to his sister's wedding with the hope that one day he'd be the one walking down the aisle. 

He wasn't sure he'd be able to cope seeing her do that knowing it would never happen for him. 

He wasn't sure he'd be able to cope seeing Mark and Donghyuck. 

Why...Why hadn't he thought this through? Why did he rush into this stupid polyamorous relationship that meant he'd never have a normal life? They'd never be accepted, not fully. Sure, they had a handful of people that didn't judge them for their relationship dynamic. But in the real world? People just thought they were greedy, sexual deviants that needed more than one person to satisfy their needs. They didn't see the love between them. 

And they never would. 

 

 

⫸♡⫷

 

"For fucks sake!"

Taeyong ripped his earphones out as someone shouted from what sounded like the kitchen. He'd only just that second walked in the door, what the fuck was going on? 

"Hello?"

"Wait! Don't come in!"

Too late. He had already opened the door, unveiling the kitchen in complete disarray. The sink was full of dishes, the remains of chopped vegetables strewn across the benches and Sicheng was on the floor, surrounded by trash. 

"...What are you doing?"

"I was trying to make dinner but it's all going wrong and then the garbage bag split on me and now-" Sicheng whined, struggling to pick up all the shit off the floor. "I'm having a 'mare."

Taeyong ran over to the hob, turning down the flame before whatever sauce Sicheng had concocted boiled over. 

"You literally never cook, why did you even try?" Taeyong laughed softly as he got out a new bag to scrape the numerous vegetable peelings into. Sicheng was notoriously messy in the kitchen, so much so that Taeyong usually banned him from even helping when he cooked. It was just easier that way. 

"I was trying to do something nice for you and Taeil." Sicheng groaned, nose crinkling as he put his hand in...something. Being domestic was gross. "He's been so...weird lately I thought maybe he's like stressed or something."

Taeyong hummed. He had picked up on that too. 

Taeil wasn't the loudest or most energetic of people at the best times, but he usually let himself go and just relax when it was just the three of them. But lately it was like he was a completely different person. He seemed extra upright, almost uncomfortable to be around them. He wasn't as cuddly or affectionate and Taeyong couldn't put his finger on why. 

That was, when they actually saw him. 

Taeil had been working extra-long hours recently, claiming he had picked up some extra responsibilities at work which required him to stay back late, but sometimes he wouldn't be back until the two of them were getting ready for bed, and Taeyong wasn't sure his office was even open that long. 

"I'm sure that's it, he's just stressed with work." Taeyong wasn't even sure he believed his own words, but he didn't want Sicheng to worry. 

"Yeah... It's just-" Sicheng sighed, not sure how to put this. Talking wasn't his strong point. "I feel like he's being really distant with me. Like...he's avoiding me."

"I'm sure that's not the case."

"I dunno..." Sicheng's eyes unfocused on the tin can in his hand. This really should have been recycled... "It's just- He never wants to sleep in the middle anymore, and like- I feel like he doesn't even look me in the eye on the rare occasions we do speak and...I can't even remember the last time we kissed. Probably before Mark and Hyuck's party."

Taeyong's eyebrows furrowed. Mark and Donghyuck's party? Actually...Taeil  _had_  been kinda weird since then. Quiet. More withdrawn. They hadn't slept together, they had barely kissed. 

Had something happened that night? Something he hadn't picked up on? 

He had just finished loading the dishwasher when a soft sniffling caught his attention. 

"Baby- Oh, baby don't cry."

"I'm not, I-" Sicheng laughed bitterly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I just don't know what I've done wrong."

"Nothing! I'm sure it's nothing, he's been weird with me too, I'm sure it's not a big deal, okay? Don't worry about it. We'll speak when he gets home. Everything will be fine."

Taeyong thumbed away a stray tear. He hated seeing Sicheng like this; when the younger got all insecure, when he felt like he was just plugging the gaps Taeil and Taeyong's relationship. It wasn't like that at all. They both loved him so, so much. 

"I just- I feel like I mess everything up, like- I don't have a good job or anything. I couldn't even make you guys dinner and you had to come home to this mess and-"

"Shhh, no." Taeyong leaned in, pressing a kiss to Sicheng's lips in the hope it would calm him down, or at least stop him talking. The last thing he wanted to hear was his boyfriend doubting himself. "Stop thinking like that, okay? I love you more than anything. We both do. Just- Stop stressing. Everything's gonna be fine."

Sicheng nodded. He believed Taeyong, he really did. It was just difficult to understand how that could be true sometimes. 

"Why don't you go upstairs and sort yourself out and I'll finish up down here?"

"No! I'm fine, I made all this mess, I should really clean it up."

"Sicheng." Taeyong put on his stern voice, the one he used when he wanted Taeil to go to bed earlier so he didn't tire himself out, or when Sicheng was being particularly bratty. "Don't worry about it, he won't want to see you all upset when he gets home, will he?"

Sicheng guessed Taeyong was right. Taeyong was always right. He threw the can he still had in his hand in the bin, uttering a soft 'thanks' as he headed off upstairs. 

Taeyong sighed, getting to work on the rest of the garbage scattered across the floor. He really wished Sicheng wouldn't get himself in such a fret over such menial things. Well, maybe not menial, they were clearly a huge deal to him, but he and Taeil had done everything to reassure the younger just how much they cared about him, how much they wanted him. 

"What's this?" He muttered to himself, coming across a crumpled piece of sage green paper.

_You are invited to the wedding of Moon Taeyoung and Jung Jaehyun_

Wedding? Taeil's sister was getting married? Next month? Why didn't he know about this? Why hadn't Taeil told him? This was huge... They didn't keep things from each other, especially not things like this. Taeyong had known Taeil's family for years. Why wouldn't he tell him?

"Hey- woah what happened in here?"

Taeyong had been so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn't even heard the front door open, hadn't heard Taeil come home from work.

He blinked, looking up at his boyfriend. At the love of his life.

"Why didn't you tell me your sister was getting married?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you @baexil for this prompt i really loved it!! i took your wedding idea and just ran with it, things are gonna have to get a lil worse before they get better :((
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> if you wanna shout at me abt anything feel free to add me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) (i am friendless) or on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lowkeyamen/) (where i talk all sorts of gay shit) and i also have a [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen) bc, well, i am despo for attention pls love me uwu thank u xo


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